id be glad to
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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