in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
