conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i love accidental penises.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
try to milk me bitch
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