yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
