A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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