Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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