I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
