seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There r osticjed everywhere
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Congratulations! We have a period
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
