I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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