happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
