you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
