cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
