This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
