i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize