so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i think i just lost a toe
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
