Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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