i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
