he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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