ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
