captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think people are normalizing furries
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
