he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
