Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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