Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
