someone threw a dead crab at me
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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