Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
