So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
