i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
