Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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