He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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