eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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