their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
