Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
its not stalking. its research.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
