Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
