yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
