I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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