HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
