I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
