love makes seman taste better
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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