ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize