Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
