Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
organizing the empties. That sober.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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