Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
