We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am mentally ready for anal.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
