I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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