I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Randomize
