Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
