I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
