tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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