If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
