so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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