Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
