Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Vodka?
Forever.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
