I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
