She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
