He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
