If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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