You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
